Lead From The Outside Recap Pt 1. & Some Other Stuff Too
A bit of housekeeping, a bit of book talk, and some fun links!
Hello dear subscribers! We’ve made it to mid March. The sun is shining (sometimes). The birds are chirping. The serotonin boost is almost enough to momentarily distract me from the fact that Ontario has absolutely botched the vaccine rollout plan and we’re looking at another spring in isolation! Almost!!
I’m still figuring out this newsletter/book club thing out as I go - but mid month is as good a time as any to check in and see how you are doing with the book, and give you a heads up about some upcoming book picks while we’re at it.
April & May Book Selections
To give you the chance to get your hands on a copy, here’s what I’m planning on reading and talking about for the next two months:
April: Hood Feminism: Notes from the Women That a Movement Forgot by Mikki Kendall because our feminism means nothing if it’s not intersectional. This book has been on my radar since its release last year. Switching up the format, this is a collection of essays on topics from the housing crisis, Black women’s maternal health, eating disorders, and more. If you’re confused about what intersectionality means, don’t be ashamed, this is how we learn! And if you’re having trouble resonating with the term “Feminism” in general, maybe this famous TED talk by Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche would be a nice place to start. While I believe the intended audience of this book is white women, I’m sure we’ll all have something to learn from it - regardless of where you are at.
May: Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen. If we want to be truly inclusive of others, we need to understand more about lived experiences different from our own. On the LGBTQ+ spectrum, Asexuality is often just not discussed/acknowledged. I’d like to learn more about the topic!
Book Time!
I’ll be talking about things that came up for me in chapters 1-5 of Lead From The Outside (Minority Leader) by Stacey Abrams, our book club pick for March. If you want some more time to catch up before reading, consider this. your spoiler warning (although I don’t really consider any of it a spoiler) and come back when you’re ready! But remember - this is a no rules book club, and I’m writing these posts with the idea that you might not have the time to fit this reading in. I’m here to share my learnings with you and take you along on my personal journey (calling things a journey is so cringe worthy, isn’t it? I can’t seem to stop myself though).
This book is less of a memoir and more of an instruction manual. Abrams is giving us her step by step guide to gaining power and influence as a minority. The original title the book was published under was a play on her role in government at the time - leader of the minority in the Georgia House of Representatives.
On wanting more…
Here is something to chew on. Think back to when you were growing up. Were you encouraged to follow your dreams? That with a little hard work, anything was possible for you? That might be a sign of your privilege. “…minorities rarely come of age explicitly thinking about what we want and how to get it.”
It makes sense, doesn’t it? If you believe that certain things aren’t even an option for you, and society reinforces that belief at every turn, your ambitions might calibrate themselves to match what you see to be possible.
Now, I’ve always considered myself an ambitious person. I’m always looking towards what’s next and how I can get there the fastest. Frankly, until I became a manager and started talking to others about what motivated them at work and what they wanted for their careers, I didn’t realize that this wasn’t the default mindset. (Other people don’t think the exact same way as you! Mind blowing, right? Except that every time I think I really understand this to be true, I’m surprised again.) Reading this chapter, it really drove home for me that there are multiple factors that can influence someone’s ambition.
So here’s some questions this leads me to.
If you are someone who doesn’t identify as ambitious, why do you think that is? Is any part of it because you don’t feel like you deserve it or that wanting more isn’t an option for you?
If you are someone who does feel they are ambitious — why? What’s motivating you?
Honestly, I’m having a hard time really nailing down an answer to #2 for myself. I’m pretty openly persuing high levels of leadership in the tech world because… I want to see if I can? I have something to prove? Out of spite? (I don’t think doing things out of spite is always a bad thing and honestly, it’s probably why a lot of women stay in tech.) I mean, I’ve got more noble dreams of being able to hold the door open for more ambitious underrepresented folks around me but crafting a “personal mission statement” is hard! (If you’ve got one, I want to hear it!)
As leaders, or for anyone in a position of power and privilege, though - here is the action item I am taking away. People should know that they deserve to be ambitious as they want to be. And we should support them and fight to create opportunities for them. This probably looks like sponsorship vs. mentorship. “I think they would be great for this project/position/role. Here is how I think we should set them up for success.”
On finding mentors…
I love that she brought up the idea that looking for a mentor doesn’t always mean someone in our field. We can be mentored by different people in different roles at different times, depending on the situation. I am very into this idea of building a “Voltron” of mentors and I would recommend you take a look at this worksheet by the awesome Lara Hogan on the topic.
I’m going to leave it there for now, but I’ll be coming at you with some more thoughts on the latter half of the book at the end of the month. I’d love for you to press reply and let me know what you’re thinking. Do you consider yourself ambitious? Why or why not? Have you considered intentionally building a network of mentors, and if so how has this worked for you? What do you think of the book so far in general?
Just for fun
Toronto based book nerds: illustrator Jake Tobin is creating a beautiful series of prints based on local book stores. I ordered this print of my beloved Type Books on Queen. Ted Lasso is exactly as good as everyone says it is, and I agree with this tweet completely. In other “worth the hype” /bookish news, I get nervous when my favourite books get turned into film/tv shows, but seeing who’s going to be producing The Vanishing Half on HBO has settled my fears.